Well Fuck Me Backwards With a Telegrah Pole
Well Fuck Me Backwards With a Telegrah Pole
❝ I see people getting married to people they’ve known for, like, a year and a half. A year and a half? Is that really enough time to get to know someone to know you want to spend the REST of your life with them? I mean, I’ve had sweaters for a year and a half and I was like, “What the fuck was I doing with this sweater?” ❞
— Aziz Ansari (via smokingcraic)

psyducker:

do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad

❝ I want you. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up, and the smile that follows. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed. I don’t want to share you. ❞
— unknown (via swiftbeat)
❝ Skye? ❞
— The moment she spins around, petrified, with wide Aubrey Hepburn eyes, that killed me. Run baby girl, run.  (via adelindschade)

I bet she turns to the dark side and decides to join hydra.

That would be awful. I’m so furious with ward.

But I’m also heartbroken about may and INSANELY curious what’s up with her

And can’t get ‘AND I WOULD WALK 500 MILES’ out of my head…

Erics death was the last straw.

Officially hate ward.

No redeeming him now.

You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

— Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)

priceofliberty:

hellabiafra:

vegasmo:

Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*